The Chapters of Morals: Revised
by Luthien5
Summary: (Revised version of the original Chapters of Morals) Happy Orange Soda? Morphing Jars waltzing? Oh, Ra, what's going on?
1. Happy Orange Soda

Kawaii Mimi-chan: Hello, everyone! Welcome to my friend's first fanfic! She's new to fanfiction.net so be nice.or KMC will make you regret it!  
  
Luthien: *waves* Hello! KMC and I will be writing this fanfic together, so even though it's posted under my name, she gets credit too!  
  
KMC: *nods*  
  
Luthien: It's time we write the chapters of morals. And to help us with this. Are our muses!  
  
Yugi: H-hi.  
  
Joey: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: O.o *covers ears*  
  
Bakura & Yami Bakura: Sup?  
  
Everyone: ..?  
  
Joey: Never saw that one coming out of them two.  
  
KMC: Anyhoo! Why don't we get started. on our first story. "Please Don't Bring Beverages to the Dueling Arena". This is based off the commercial on Kids WB...AND WE DON'T OWN IT!!!! SO DON'T SUE!!!!  
  
Bakura: NO!!! Not the Happy Orange Soda story!!  
  
Luthien and KMC: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Yami Bakura: Ohhh.no..  
  
Yugi: Yep, it all started with that one cup of soda..  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Moral: Please Don't Bring Beverages to the Dueling Arena  
  
It was a normal sunny day, and Yami Yugi and Bakura (REGULAR Bakura) decided to have a friendly match of Duel Monsters at Kaiba Land.  
  
* On the field*  
  
"Okay! I'll play my Kuriboh, along with the magic card Multiply!" shouted Yami, laying down both cards.  
  
"Yeah! Go, Yugi!" cheered Joey from the side.  
  
"I don't know." said Téa. "It looks like Bakura is in the lead this time."  
  
Joey gave Bakura thumbs up.  
  
"All right then, I'll play one card face down and have my White Magical Hat attack!" said Bakura.  
  
"That attack won't do any good!" Yami said triumphantly, considering his size. a massive four feet (or is Yami Yugi taller than Yugi? That makes absolutely no sense to me).  
  
Of course, the White Magical Hat only wiped out a few Kuriboh while more popped up in their place.  
  
It was Yami Yugi's turn again. (Dun Dun Dunnnn.)  
  
"Those Kuriboh are so cute." sighed Téa.  
  
Joey was about to say something rather rude in response but he suddenly noticed his complete lack of beverage. Hmm.That's odd. Thought I had it right here. His concern was interrupted when Yami Yugi declared his next move.  
  
"Bakura! I play my Celtic Guardian in attack mode-huh?"  
  
Yami's hand bumped into an unnoticed cup of Happy Orange Soda, and it was tipping over.  
  
"Oh no!" Yami gasped as the cup fell and spilled its contents all over the dueling panel.  
  
The panel began to spark and fizz, and the most peculiar thing started to happen.  
  
"Yugi, is that your move then?" asked Bakura, who was oblivious to what Yami had accidentally done. He did lift an eyebrow, when his ouji/ "destiny" board turned to face him. "Why is it facing me?" he asked himself. He didn't have to wait long when it started spelling "LOSER, YOU SUCK!"  
  
"HEY!" snapped Bakura indignantly.  
  
His attention was drawn back to his face down cards on the field, which were both Morphing Jars, as they turned face up and began to. waltz around the field together? Which was quite amusing to watch considering neither had arms or legs.  
  
"Blimey! What are they doing?!"  
  
"You think I know?" asked Yami Yugi, trying to conceal a small grin.  
  
That small grin vanished when he saw what was happening to his cards.  
  
"My Celtic Guardian!" he cried, just as soon as the elf began swinging his sword around wildly.  
  
The Celtic Guardian managed to hit one of the numerous floating Kuriboh, kinda like he was on speed or something. However, he stopped when he saw the angry Kuriboh, teeth bared, advancing on him. Even an elf on speed would stop if he saw this particular sight.  
  
"Uh oh. This doesn't look good," said Bakura.  
  
And without further ado, the Kuriboh proceeded to jump the Celtic Guardian like rabid bunnies. Instead of only the Celtic Guardian disappearing, the furballs shattered as well.  
  
"Hey!" said Yami Yugi as he watched all his life points drop down to zero. "That's not right!"  
  
He turned around angrily, to the puppy-eyed Joey who was trying to look TOO innocent.  
  
"Who left their Happy Orange Soda on the dueling arena?!" he shouted even though he already knew the answer.  
  
"Uhhhh." Joey began to shuffle away.  
  
"Hey! I won!" cried Bakura, "For the first.and probably only time against Yugi!"  
  
In this way, Joey was saved by being horribly throttled by Yami as the angry pharaoh whirled on Bakura.  
  
"THAT WASN'T AN HONORABLE DUEL!!!!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
KMC: Well, first chap done!  
  
Luthien: Yay!  
  
Both: Please review! Flames will be used to cook our rice!  
  
Muses: That was too odd..  
  
Luthien: Next up! "Never Invite Yugi and the Gang Over to Your House for Dinner".Probably our best idea yet!  
  
Muses: Ack!  
  
P.S. Luthien: In the Japanese version, the "destiny" board of Bakura's spells "DEATH" but the people over here changed it for some stupid reason. It's pretty funny to hear a Japanese Bakura trying to spell English letters and failing miserably. 


	2. Dinner in Different Dimensions

Kawaii Mimi-chan: WELCOME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!  
  
Luthien: 0.o yeah... welcome. And thanks for reviews. Individual messages are at the end for previous reviewers.  
  
Joey: Hey! It wasn't MY fault the Happy Orange Soda was knocked over!  
  
Yugi: And who would've thought that the Kuriboh could take over the Celtic Guardian?  
  
KMC: Strange minds, my friend, strange minds.  
  
Yami Bakura: Death to the Kuriboh and its followers!  
  
Luthien: Kuriboh forever! Besides Bakura, you should be NICE to us. You don't want anything to happen to you in our fic, do you?  
  
Yami Bakura: Heh, you think I really care? Too bad Kuriboh can't be flushed down the toilet.  
  
KMC: Hey!  
  
Luthien: Though I'm sure it has been tried.  
  
KMC: I thought you were supposed to be on my side, Luthien.  
  
Luthien: He he, right...Well, anyway, to chapter two! This one has a wee bit of some The Lord of the Rings. I couldn't resist. Really!  
  
Joey: Yeah, but it should be interesting though.  
  
Yugi: And there aren't any spoilers...  
  
Luthien: I don't like when people put them in fics without warning.  
  
KMC: But in the end, we don't anything. Meh.  
  
Luthien: And one more thing..  
  
Joey: Uh oh.  
  
Luthien: *dark glare at Joey* This chapter will have to be divided into two parts, due to the length of it. I want to get at least some of it done so people can read it.  
  
KMC: What's the matter, can't type fast?  
  
Luthien: *hiss*  
  
KMC: We almost forgot!  
  
Luthien: Oh, yeah.. My stupid computer can't do bolds. Or italics, I think. So I have to figure out how to overcome that. For now / .../ will mean somebody's thoughts.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*  
  
Moral Two: Don't invite Yugi and the Gang Over for Dinner  
  
It was supposed to be a regular Saturday night and a regular dinner party... if there were regular people hosting. Alas, it was Luthien and KMC inviting some of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Cast over to eat. Thus, the long night begins. (dun dun duhhhh)  
  
First to arrive were Yugi and Joey, whereupon Joey made right for the kitchen. Next came Tristan; and before long, all the invited guests were lounging in the living room (except for Joey who's still trying to get into the kitchen).  
  
Few cast members were invited because KMC and Luthien like to keep their parties small, especially when the second dimension and third dimension have to merge into one. These complications can cause problems, which you will soon witness. So in all, the guests consisted of Yugi/Yami Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Téa, Kaiba, Mai, and Bakura/Yami Bakura (ACK!).  
  
Everybody was talking happily and drinking soda, except for Kaiba. Instead, he was eyeing Yugi suspiciously from a dark corner. Suddenly, a deep but quiet roar rattled the house.  
  
"Uh oh... The tranquilizers are wearing off!" Luthien said to KMC.  
  
"Well, that's obvious," replied KMC, getting a little sharp in her panic. (I mean really, you could start to see fangs.)  
  
"This could cause a problem or two," stated Luthien.  
  
"Hey!" interrupted Kaiba. "That noise sounds very familiar!" he shouted angrily (when does he not shout angrily?). He jumped out of his dark corner and ran to the linen closet down the hall. He whipped open the door and face faulted. Inside was a Blue Eyes White Dragon. (Don't ask how it got in there.)  
  
"How did you two get it in there?!" shouted Kaiba, once he got onto his feet.  
  
"^-^ When two different dimensions collide, strange stuff can happen, Kaiba!" giggled KMC.  
  
"KMC, did you just giggle?" asked Luthien. "Scary..."  
  
"Shut up, Luthien. Anyway, we were just trying to keep it quiet so our night wouldn't be disrupted."  
  
The BEWD yawned.  
  
"Well, I guess it's too late for that," said Joey, who finally gave up his attempts in getting to the kitchen.  
  
"I hate to interrupt here," Téa interrupted, "but where's the bathroom? I need to freshen up... and practice a friendship speech, cause I have a feeling I'm going to need it tonight!"  
  
KMC pointed down the hall. "First door on the right."  
  
Téa skipped off and closed the door. All too soon...  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!!!"  
  
"What was that?" yelled Yami Yugi dramatically.  
  
Téa came screeching out of the bathroom, and in front of Luthien. Pointing down the hall behind her, she managed to stutter, "T-t-t-t..."  
  
"KMC! I told you no one's to go in THAT bathroom!" cried Luthien.  
  
"Eep, I forgot. Gomen nasai, Luthien," said KMC, scratching the back of her head.  
  
Everyone looked up as they heard a "Rrrr" sort of sound. Out of the bathroom door floated an extremely wet Kuriboh.  
  
"Rrrr," came the sound again.  
  
"He's saying you interrupted their nap, Téa," said Yugi quietly.  
  
"Umm...sorry?"  
  
No reaction from anyone else. They were fallen on the floor or just standing there stunned.  
  
"And now.. to dinner!" exclaimed Luthien cheerfully.  
  
*CLANG CLANG*  
  
"What's that?" asked Mai.  
  
"It's sounds like someone is pounding on the door with an axe.." said Bakura innocently.  
  
Everyone turned to him.  
  
"How do you know what a pounding axe sounds like, Bakura?" asked Kaiba. That to him was just a little weird.  
  
"Trust me, you don't want to know.." answered Bakura.  
  
While this little conversation was going on, Luthien and KMC ran to the door, opened it, and almost fell flat on the floor.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*  
  
Luthien: All right! Part one of chap two is done!  
  
Joey: You're going to leave it here?!  
  
Luthien: Yup.  
  
Yugi: That's cruel.  
  
Luthien: Only to those who read this or even care, which are few, unfortunately.  
  
KMC: But we still love you guys who are reviewing!  
  
Luthien: Like 'Guardian of the Forsaken'. I have to say to you that the whole Blimey thing was entirely KMC.  
  
KMC: I just had to do it.  
  
Luthien: Yeah, we're not sure if Bakura is supposed to be English or Australian. Maybe he's having an identity crisis.  
  
KMC: Or he could be both.  
  
Luthien: Uh..yeah. Anyway, what's Mou Hitori No Yugi? You totally confused me there. 


	3. Dinner in Different Dimensions PART 2

Luthien: Finally!  
  
KMC: It took you long enough to get this up.  
  
Luthien: Yeah, yeah. Well, it's been increasingly hard to get onto the Internet.  
  
KMC: Whatever. Anyway, welcome to PART 2 of the whole Dinner scene.  
  
Luthien: And we're happy to say that this will actually be more like a three-parter. The third part is going to take place in Helm's Deep.  
  
KMC: You'll see why when you read PART 2.  
  
Luthien: Why is 'PART 2' in caps?  
  
KMC: *Shrug* I don't know. You're the one typing.  
  
Luthien: Oh, right.  
  
Disclaimer: MUHAHAHAHA! These pathetic girls don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! OR The Lord of the Rings!  
  
KMC: You don't have to rub it in.  
  
Luthien: And without further ado.. Here's the third chap!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Well, I'm here! And I had to leave Legolas and Aragorn at Helm's Deep to fight all those Uruk-ai alone, so this better be good!" said a gruff voice.  
  
"GIMLI!! What are you doing here?" asked Luthien, despite her obsession with 'The Lord of the Rings'.  
  
"This is the dinner party, isn't it?" said Gimli.  
  
"Yeah, but only for the Yu-Gi-Oh! cast," said KMC.  
  
After getting over the initial shock of having Gimli at the door, Luthien smiled so widely, KMC involuntarily stepped back. "That's okay! He can stay, what's one more guest?"  
  
"You'd let the entire friggin' Lord of the Rings cast in if they came!" cried KMC.  
  
"So? Your point?"  
  
KMC just sighed.  
  
"Okay then. Now that that's settled...to dinner..again," said Luthien, dragging Gimli in the house.  
  
??????????????????????????????????????  
  
KMC placed a platter of mangled chicken onto the table. Everyone stared at it.  
  
"Sorry 'bout that. Our chef got a little frustrated and.." Luthien pointed behind her back to the kitchen.  
  
They all practically died when they saw a Celtic Guardian, in an apron, hacking away furiously at a second chicken with his huge sword. The white chef's hat was lopsided on his head in place of his helmet. He whirled around and stared at the guests he was serving. He grinned sheepishly and shuffled from foot to foot.  
  
It was Yami Yugi's turn to be shocked and speechless. Kaiba almost burst out laughing at him. Almost.  
  
"Uh.. yeah. Well, you guys already heard the story about dimensions colliding.." Luthien started to explain.  
  
"And we didn't know what to with him, really," KMC finished.  
  
"Okay. To dinner... For the third time!  
  
So despite the duel monsters roaming the house, everyone sat down to eat dinner.  
  
"Hey! I can't see the table!" cried Yugi, hopping up and down to look at everyone.  
  
"Oh, that's right! I forgot how short you were!" cried KMC.  
  
"Lemme go get some cushions," Luthien said as she walked away.  
  
"I challenge you to a duel!" Kaiba shouted suddenly, whilst pointing a finger at Yugi.  
  
Yugi just looked cross-eyed at the finger.  
  
"Will you stop saying that!" said Mai. "You're giving me a headache!"  
  
"Kaiba, I already told you.." KMC said.  
  
"You can't play a 2D game in a 3D world!" everyone in the room finished for her.  
  
Kaiba just grunted.  
  
"Cushions!" cried Luthien, announcing her return.  
  
"Those aren't cushions!" gasped Bakura.  
  
Indeed they weren't. In fact, they were a couple of Kuriboh.  
  
"Well, I had to find «something»," said Luthien. "It's not like we have three foot guests come over everyday."  
  
"I'm a little taller than THAT!" said Yugi. "Never mind. I'll manage without anything."  
  
"Okay," replied Luthien, chucking the furballs behind her back.  
  
???????????????????????????????????????  
  
So everything was going along just fine. Everyone was having a good time eating and talking amongst themselves, except for Kaiba who was still eyeing Yugi from a dark corner of the table.  
  
Then, trouble dropped from a place that could be seen by none other than Ra. And an ominous, yet familiar, flash filled the room. An ominous, yet WAY too familiar, cackle followed.  
  
"Oh no, not again," grumbled Tristan.  
  
"Raw meat! Where's the raw meat! I saw it earlier!" cried Yami Bakura, hopping up and down like a little kid. "OH! KNIVES!"  
  
His attention was directed to the sharp dinner knife by his plate.  
  
"GET THAT AWAY FROM HIM!!!!" cried Luthien.  
  
Téa snatched the knife away from Bakura like a mother snatches a dangerous toy, which is exactly how Bakura thought of the knife as.  
  
"Hey! Give that back, foolish mortal!" Yami Bakura threatened.  
  
"Got anymore of them tranquilizers?" KMC asked Luthien.  
  
"^ ^; Do you really think that's a wise idea?"  
  
"I think-"  
  
*BWAP!*  
  
The two girls were interrupted by the sound of Gimli smacking his axe over Bakura's head.  
  
"That should take care of him," he said proudly.  
  
"AND ALSO GIVE HIM FREAKIN' BRAIN DAMAGE!!" cried KMC.  
  
"Don't worry! I can carefully use my axe."  
  
"Like how you just used it now?"  
  
"He won't die, if that's what you mean."  
  
KMC started crying. "NO!! MY POOR BAKURA!!"  
  
Luthien ended up dragging Bakura off to a spare room and laid him down with some ice on his head. She knew that he would be okay. There was a whole book she had to read called Dimensions Merging, and it said that beings from another dimension don't get affected permanently by injuries while in that other dimension.  
  
Meanwhile, Joey and Tristan were taking advantage of everyone's diverted attention and eating all the food. (Figures)  
  
"LOOK! MUSHROOMS!" cried Tristan, lunging across the table to grab them.  
  
"Now where have heard this before?" thought KMC. "I'll have to ask Luthien about it."  
  
Yugi watched his friend eat mushrooms with tears running down his face in joy.  
  
"That's just kind of sad," said the four-foot. "HEY!"  
  
A Kuriboh had sneaked out of the bathroom and behind Yugi. In a "WHOOSH", he had taken Yugi's Millenium Puzzle.  
  
"My Puzzle!" Yugi cried out desperately, running after the wicked furball.  
  
*CA-SHING!*  
  
The Kuriboh fell to the floor as the Celtic Guardian, having given up on the chicken, whacked it on the head with the butt of his massive sword. Revenge is sweet.+ Everyone could have sworn they heard a deranged sort of laugh coming from the elf, but he just picked up the puzzle and handed it gingerly to Yugi.  
  
"Uh.. t-thanks?"  
  
The Celtic Guardian gave Yugi a thumbs-up and walked back into the kitchen. Tying his apron back on, he started working on dessert (Oh no! How is this going to turn out?).  
  
Meanwhile, oblivious, Joey and Tristan kept on eating. Yes, it's impossible for even those two to get a whole table full of food into their mouths in less than five minutes. Mai, who had been trying to stay out of the action, was now taking her chances and trying to come on to Joey.  
  
"So, Joey? What have you been up to since I last saw you?" the blonde asked sweetly.++  
  
Joey tried to answer, he really did, but his mouth was too full of food so he gave up. Mai sighed and leaned back, watching the scene with the Kuriboh and the Celtic guardian unfold in front of her.  
  
Gimli, who was sitting on Mai's left, suddenly tried to start a conversation with her.  
  
"It's true, you don't see many Dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they're often mistaken for Dwarf men."  
  
Mai, in return, gave him the most bug-eyed look anyone has ever given somebody in the second dimension, third dimension, or Middle-earth. Being the unfortunate soul to receive that look, the Dwarf freaked out for a moment, then joined Joey and Tristan in eating whatever food was left in the house.  
  
Just then, Yami Bakura came running into the dining room.  
  
"Where's my meat?!" he cried.  
  
"Oh, please!" said an exasperated Téa. "Can you stop with the raw meat?"  
  
Yami Bakura decided to ignore her.  
  
"MEAT!" he demanded, slamming his fists on the table.  
  
"Well this is all a bit too much for me," Gimli said, getting up. "I feel that I must return to Helm's Deep to help my companions. Maybe after the battle there will be meat."  
  
"Really?" asked Bakura, looking up. "Then I'm coming too!"  
  
"Hoh, boy. Obviously, this guy doesn't know what he getting himself into," whispered KMC to Luthien.  
  
"Hmm, do think we should really let him go?" asked Luthien.  
  
"Sure. Why not?"  
  
Luthien just shook her head. "Okay, what's the worst that could happen?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
+ If you don't understand the whole 'revenge is sweet', then read the first chapter. ++ This fic is supposed to take place a few weeks or so after Duelist Kingdom.  
  
KMC: We are happy to say after that, the dinner went a little more smoothly, despite the dessert incident, which we won't get into. After a few hours of talking and eating (or in Joey and Tristan's case, just eating), everyone departed. Of course, Luthien and I were left to clean up. But after a few minutes, when Luthien was cleaning the knives, we both realized something..  
  
Luthien: And that had to do with the absence of Yami Bakura. So next chap will be a very short, very strange tale about what happened to the poor spirit when Gimli brought him to Helm's Deep.  
  
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?  
  
Guardian of the Forsaken~(SORRY! It has been changed! I was up REALLY late last night typing this!) It's nice to see you come back for chap 2. The best is yet to come (we hope) so stick around!  
  
Red Roses2~ Actually, that was your first review for this story, but we appreciate your message! And we're really sorry about the whole Téa-not- being-in-character-thing. It won't be done any more. I (Luthien) think she's pretty cool but I (KMC) think she should die. Anyway, thanks again for the review!  
  
KitesGirl~ Yes! Someone thinks it's funny! Thanks for the message, and we will hopefully be continuing for a while.  
  
TO ALL: Anybody got ideas? We're running out fast. We're thinking of the next moral to be something along the lines of 'Yugi, Don't Leave Your Hair Dye Out Where The Kuriboh Can Get To It!' This will have pretty much every character in it and won't have us in the middle. It will be more like formal writing. Wait..what's formal? 


End file.
